Many may have found themselves in challenging long-distance relationships at some point or the other.
While some people manage to surmount the encumbrance of distance, for many others, not so much.
Here are ways to maintain a relationship separated by thousands of miles.
Don’t over communicate
It’s very easy to think that talking every minute will cover up for the distance, but it doesn’t.
What you end up doing is exhausting each other and then it’s a downward slope from there.
Do everything in moderation.
Keep your word
This is important now more than ever that you can’t physically be with each other. Your word is all you have.
If you become unreliable because you never do what you say, it will have a negative impact on your relationship.
Have ground rules to manage expectations
Let each other know what you hope the relationship will do for you and what you expect from your partner.
Talk to yourselves and come to a mutual conclusion so you don’t go in with one-sided expectations and get angry when your partner doesn’t meet up.
Try to communicate regularly and creatively
Not speaking for days is unhealthy. Even if it’s just a “good morning” and a “good night” at the end of the day, that would do. Always try and spice up the conversation. Don’t be distant.
Sexual desires cannot be ignored.
Engage each other in dirty talk over the phone and leave messages that will leave sparks in their minds leading up to the next time you meet up.
Avoid dangerous situations
Temptations will come but don’t go looking for it. You have no business going to clubs at night or places you know will lead you to make regrettable mistakes.
Don’t hang out with the colleague or friend that has a crush on you. You may be faithful but you’re human, and susceptible to slipping.
Do things together
You don’t have to be physically together to engage in fun activities together. The internet has made it easy.
Play an online game together or against each other, watch a movie at the same time. Stay connected and keep the love alive.
Visit each other
Plan interchangeable visits. One month should be his turn while the next is her turn. And the month when your partner can’t make it, take two consecutive months. That’s what love is.
Have specific goals
Your long-distance relationship can’t possibly be worth the stress if you don’t have realisable goals.
Where is the relationship headed? What are your joint plans? At which point will it stop being a long distance relationship? Are you going to move in with each other? Do you have hopes of getting married?
Draw out a timeline for the future that you can always revisit and readjust for the best possible outcome.
Enjoy your time alone
Yes, you’re in a relationship. No, your life is not over. Your happiness must not solely depend on your partner. Spend time with your friends and family. Have a life.
Lying has a ripple effect. One leads to another and it never ends until the truth surfaces. So the beginning of lies is the end of your relationship.
Know each others’ schedules
You don’t want to be a bother. Know when your partner is busy at work, at school, or an activity to avoid being told “I’m busy, I’ll talk to you later” from the person you love.
That would be upsetting.
Exchange personal items
Sentiment carries plenty weight in long distance relationships. Give her your t-shirts, give him your bracelets. Give your partner something to hold on to.
The mind is the beginning and end of us. Negativity will make a clear sky turn to a cloudy storm in the blink of an eye. You know how they say, “It’s not the problem that’s the problem, it’s your attitude towards the problem”.
Stay positive, stay happy and look at the distance as a learning process. A bad attitude will cut through your relationship like a double-edged sword.
Update each other
Let them know what’s going on in your life. Even things you think may be insignificant. Tell your partner about your family and work. There’s nothing worse than hearing news about your partner from someone else.
Do the same things
This is imperative if you never want to run out of conversations to have. If you are watching the same shows, reading the same books, and engaging in the same activities every day, there will never be a dull moment in your conversations.
Video-call whenever possible.
Because looking into each other’s eyes and hearing each other’s voices can make everything feel alright again
Get a good messaging app.
This is extremely important because texting is the most frequent and common way of communication the two of you have. You need a good messaging app on your phones that allow interactions beyond just words and emoticons.
Personally, I use this messaging app called LINE. I find it highly effective because it has a huge reserve of playful and very funny “stickers” that are free for its users to use. You can also go to the app’s “Sticker Shop” to download (or gift!) extra stickers of different themes (e.g. Hello Kitty, Pokemon, Snoopy, MARVEL and etc.) at a low price. From time to time, the app also gives out free sticker sets for different promotions. This messaging app is cute and easy to learn to use.
Keep track of each other’s social media activities.
Like each other’s photos on Facebook and Instagram. Tweet each other. Tag each other. Share things on each other’s walls. Show that you care. Be cool about stalking each other.